⚠️ Content Warning: Addiction, Suicidality, Dark Humor
Addiction is rarely clean. It’s a strange theater of contradictions, where despair wears a clown mask and pain walks hand in hand with absurdity. Detox Dave didn’t mean to become the rubber duck guy. It started innocent—one duck on a shelf, then another, then a whole army staring back at him from every corner of the room. Eventually, he tried to quit. Tried hiding them, boxing them up, distracting himself with exercise and knitting. But even that betrayed him—because he ended up stitching blankets covered in rubber duck patterns. It’s ridiculous. And yet, it’s sacred in its own way. Because when you’ve lost everything, even a silly obsession becomes a strange form of structure. Something your aching mind can latch onto when nothing else makes sense.
Then there’s the woman who didn’t want to die sober. The one who bought a six-pack before she was going to end it all. But her bladder betrayed her. A bathroom break in the middle of a suicide plan. That’s the punchline and the lifeline. The Ranger found her. Not because she cried for help. But because she had to pee. This is the morbid humor of survival—how addiction twists timelines, disrupts death plans, and sometimes saves lives in the most backwards, nonsensical ways. The stories are heavy, but you can’t help but laugh—because if you don’t, you’ll drown in the absurd truth that sometimes your worst coping tool becomes your accidental redemption.
……. Addiction ripped through my life like a storm with no map—wrecking relationships, derailing dreams, and turning simple moments into survival. But if I’m being honest, it also forced me to confront parts of myself I never would’ve faced otherwise. It dragged me into the dark corners I tried to outrun. Places where shame lived. Where old wounds never healed. And while some people can look back and laugh at the chaos, I never found it funny—not even now. Some of the shit I did still makes my stomach turn. But what I do understand is this: the mind learns to climb. The body adjusts. Life, in all its fractured glory, reshapes itself around the damage. And somehow, standing in the wreckage, you start to see that maybe the fire didn’t just burn you—it cleared the path for something else. Something quieter. More honest. And maybe, just maybe, more free.
#actuallyican #recovery #traumahealing #mentalhealth
